my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
