don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
