covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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