We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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