you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
