Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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