Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
