I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
