I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
