Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
