Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
