Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
