Too much gin, very little bucket
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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