I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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