she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
