i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
