Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
