i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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