hotel room ftw
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
