whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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