I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We need a shit load of segways right now
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
