you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
