I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
