She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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