508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think my vagina is haunted
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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