I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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