So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
