in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
