It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He shit in the fireplace
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
