I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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