Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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