I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
