Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
ok first of all what the fuck
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
