he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
