I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
