you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
