This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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