Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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