So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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