I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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