What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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