1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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