i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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