2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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