I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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