ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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