I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
