and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
