I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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