plz talk dirty to me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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