People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
