this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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