i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
